Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 ESV
I waited patiently for my husband to answer my question. It’s a question I ask often. In fact, almost every time I have a decision to make. “What should I do?” This morning after he had answered for the third time “whatever you want to do”, I told him I needed to know what he thought. I wanted to know what he would do if it were him. He proceeded to very calmly but firmly inform me that I just needed to make the decision. That there really was no wrong answer and I should be confident and just decide one way or the other depending on what was best for my children and me. And then “own it.”
Then I was reminded of my word. My ONE WORD for this year is Fearless. When I was praying about what God wanted me to focus on in 2015, He spoke clearly to me. I didn’t have to wait long at all. I was in my bedroom and Lance walked in on me tearing up. He asked me what was wrong and I told him absolutely nothing, that God had just revealed to me to focus on being Fearless this year. I immediately understood why and it moved me deeply.
It’s something with which I’ve always struggled. My fear of failure, making the wrong decision, and what other people are going to think. My heart has been judged often and I have let that fact determine the outcome of my decisions too many times. Often, my decision is based on what the majority of other people in my life think I should do. Or even the small amount of people that will cause me the most grief if I happen to make the wrong decision.
Fear can affect my life in many areas but this is the area in which I have had the most trouble letting go. I have spent many years living my life based on what other people tell me I should do instead of seeking God and His Word. I fear making the wrong decision but I more often fear others not agreeing with my decision. I fear my heart and intentions being judged incorrectly.
I also fear failure. I try so hard to be a good Christian, mother, wife, employee, daughter, and friend. But I never achieve the level that I want to be. I always fall short. And I beat myself up over it. But God ‘s presence in my life covers all failures, all sins! I cannot quit and I have to keep trying to be the person He created me to be and fulfill the roles He’s provided me to the very best of my ability. The fear of failure can keep me from trying sometimes but I must keep pushing forward.
God says in Isaiah to FEAR NOT for He is with me. He will strengthen me, help me, and uphold me with His righteous right hand. He is the One I should go to for every decision I make in life. I want to seek Him first, intently, and open heartedly.
This year, 2015, I will make a conscious effort to let God take away my fear. I will daily give my anxiety to Him and I will do my best to completely put my faith and trust in Him. He knows what He’s doing with my life and the lives of those I love. I must trust that it’s in His hands and not fear what may come.
Last year, my ONE WORD was discovery. I spent much of the year learning who God truly created me to be and I came a long way in that journey. I still have some work to do but He has shown me so much this past year.
This year, along with continuing to discover more about myself, I will do my best to not live my life out of fear nor make decisions based on fear. That is my prayer and my word for 2015. What is God calling you to work on? Do you feel Him leading you to a specific word to focus on this year? I’d love to hear it!