Daily Living / Failures

Looking Back No More

“Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19

We were in the car on our way back to church when I asked my husband what he meant when he poked me in the ribs at church that morning. Our pastor had made the comment that we shouldn’t place our identify in our past and apparently my husband thought I should listen up. At first, I was curious. And wanting to learn anything I could that would help me improve as a person. But as the conversation progressed, I just kept getting madder. I have been working so hard on letting go of my past. How dare him call me on this as if I hadn’t put any effort in leaving it behind!

As we worshiped that night, God spoke to me. He showed me that I still am not completely letting go of my past. It’s so frustrating at times! I do give a considerable amount of effort working on this and yet I’m still not where I should be. Even when I think I’ve finally laid it down for good, I continue to pick it back up.

In my strange mind, I feel that I should write or say a disclaimer every time I start to sound “holy.” I want everyone to know that I have messed up big time so that I don’t seem like I think highly of myself. I don’t want to come across as Godly when I haven’t always been. 

So I continually make sure people know how many mistakes I’ve made and the terrible place I’ve been in life. I do this because I want people to know that there can be life found after bad situations and bad decisions but the problem is that every time I share my past, I pick it back up and drag it with me a while. I let it become part of who I am today, again.

These verses state very clearly what I should do. I need to “remember not the former things” and need not even consider them! God is doing a new thing in me. In fact, in the last year, I have been blessed with a new husband and his children, a new church, and a new job. My whole life has been upturned by God in an effort to give me a new and fresh start at life, with HIM at the CENTER of it. He has truly been doing a new thing in me and is molding me into the person He originally created me to be. And He’s laying things in my path to help propel me in that direction.

God is making a way in the wilderness. 

I want my past to be a tool to help others see how God can move in someone’s life. I want it to be used by Him and FOR His glory. For now however, God is calling me to just rest in Him and live for today. He’s calling me to stop dwelling on the past and completely put it behind me. He’s calling me to stop talking about my mistakes and focus on His goodness today!

I know that so much good can come from my story. I know that He can and will use it someday to reach others for Him and to be an encouragement. My intentions have been good in wanting that to happen right now. But He’s showing me that the time will come another day. He’s showing me that right now, He wants me to focus on the present and what He is doing in my life. He wants me to use that and the talents He has given me to reach others for Him.

I need time to heal without breaking the wounds back open again. At the point that I am truly healed, when my past has no hold on me, and my heart is completely and wholly set on Christ and His redeeming power, I will be given the opportunity to talk about my past again. I’ll have the ability to do so without any baggage or self condemnation.

Today, I am FREE in Christ! I am free from the bondage of sin and I will forever praise Him. My identity is found completely in Jesus and I am a beautiful creation! I am from this day until He releases me, going to do my best to not even speak of my past and to give myself a chance to focus solely on my relationship with Him. I will no longer let my past be any part of my identity. It has changed me but it is not WHO I AM.

Are you holding onto any of your past? Are you allowing Satan to use that to keep you in a state of bondage? I encourage you to pray about giving yourself a break and completely letting it go. For me, letting it go means a period of time in which I don’t talk about it. I’ve talked enough. Now it’s time to listen to the Holy Spirit in His prompting to follow Him and His path TODAY.

~Keeping it Real

Angie

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